Day 50 – Soccer Drills

Meat for the Mind? – Experimenting with the Carnivore Diet for Mental Health

Friday, October 10th, 2019

*** If you would like to read about my rationale for starting this diet, my first post about this is available here.

• Sleep: About 7.5 hours. Woke up feeling sick and depressed, with a sore throat. Felt like I could sleep all day.

• Food consumed:  10:45 AM: Coffee with butter, collagen powder and theanine.
  
  12:00 PM: 3 over-easy eggs with Ezekiel toast and butter. Grateful to be able to have toast with my eggs.
  
  4:00 PM: 220g of striploin steak. Sparkling water with natural lemon flavour.
  
  9:00 PM: 286 g of raw coho salmon. Fried and ate the skin too. A bit more of that Russian chocolate
  
  10:27PM: I tried to make fake ice cream with a banana (which I didn’t freeze long enough) a 1/2 tbsp of cocoa powder, 1 and 1/2 tbsp of peanut butter and 1/4 cup of coconut milk in the magic bullet.

Breakfast surrounded by art supplies

Steak lunch

Salmon supper

• Mood:  A bit of a down day to start. Had terrible anxiety and agoraphobia in the afternoon, when Jared and I were trying to leave the house. However, we did our ten sets of 10 burpees on a 60 second tabata timer per set and I felt much better. We did them outdoors today and met some very sweet dogs in the park that we got to hang out with for a bit. Then, Jared and I attempted some soccer ball drills to help me get more familiar with the ball. I am really terrible at soccer but the exercise I’d been dreading ended up being actually the best part of the day, to my surprise.

• Energy levels / physical feelings: I feel like I may be getting sick – congested feeling, sore throat and a bit lazy/achy in my joints. It was interesting that Jared was having a bit of a hard time with the exercise today (and yesterday) as he has not been consuming enough fat. Eliminating dairy has made that a bit of a challenge for him.

• Poop?: 1 large turd at around 11:30 AM.

Updated food tolerances list:

Foods I can tolerate so far:

Foods I suspect don’t like me back:

– Meat (grass-fed, pasture raised is better) – Eggs – Butter – Blueberries – Peaches – Carrots – Peanut butter (consume in moderation due to oxalates) – Romaine lettuce – Coconut (wonderful – re-opens the possibility of baking) – Pickles – Raspberries – Pumpkin – Honey (to be limited due to sugar) – Snap peas – Olives – >70% Chocolate (though high in oxalates) – Sweet potato (though high in oxalates) – Spaghetti squash – Tomato meat-sauce – Red wine (only if consumed in very limited amounts – 1 glass over an hour or more)

– Most dairy (though the higher the fat, the easier to handle): reaction = MILD – Processed sugar: reaction = STRONG – Wheat: reaction = STRONG – Broccoli: reaction = STRONG (gastro-intestinal – though I have yet to try it again post-carnivore) – Grapefruit: MEDIUM (headache) – Apples: MEDIUM (Spartan, straight from the farm, eaten fried with butter – strange heartburn for the rest of the day) – Alcohol: STRONG (very quickly inebriated, instant headache) – Smoked fish: MEDIUM (headache) – Homemade Polish pickles: MEDIUM (headache)

Day 49 – Grapefruit Headache?

Meat for the Mind? – Experimenting with the Carnivore Diet for Mental Health

Wednesday, October 9th, 2019

*** If you would like to read about my rationale for starting this diet, my first post about this is available here.

• Sleep: About 8 hours. Was still exhausted and was sad when I woke up and didn’t want to get out of bed. I think I may be getting sick as I woke up congested as well.

• Food consumed:  10:45 AM: Coffee with butter, collagen and theanine.
  
  4:00 PM: 3/4 lb of ground beef.
  
  5:00 PM: A half bar of Russian bitter chocolate (80%). Marvelous.
  – A couple of spoonfuls of salmon roe
  
  9:30 PM: A pink grapefruit. It was wonderful but I got a headache soon afterwards.
  – Two pieces of Ezekiel toast with cultured butter.
  
  11:30 PM: 4 hard-boiled eggs with butter and salt and pepper. A bit of smoked pink salmon.

Ground beef lunch

• Mood:  Woke up feeling quite depressed for no reason. I wonder if the Ezekiel bread had anything to do with it. Struggled a bit throughout the day, feeling tired and sad off and on, with little bouts of anxiety. Had some good moments though too, like band practice.

• Energy levels / physical feelings: My face was puffier than usual when I woke up. A little bit of a bloated abdomen. I realized I may have PMS again, despite the last one ending only recently, due to hormonal issues with my birth control.

• Poop?: 1 large turd at 11:00 AM.

Day 48 – The Russian Store

Meat for the Mind? – Experimenting with the Carnivore Diet for Mental Health

Tuesday, October 8th, 2019

*** If you would like to read about my rationale for starting this diet, my first post about this is available here.

• Sleep: Very restless. About 5 hours. Wide awake at 6 AM.

• Food consumed:  7:30 AM: Coffee with butter and theanine.
  
  11:30 AM: 3-egg omelette, 2 pieces of Ezekiel toast with butter. Another coffee with collagen powder, butter, and extra theanine.
  
  6:30 PM: Several spoonfuls of salmon roe in a Russian store’s parking lot and some very strange tasting Russian mineral water (it was from a natural mineral-rich spring in Russia and tasted similar to our electrolyte cocktails we make at home).
  
  7:30 PM: Some smoked pink salmon and halibut. It was incredible. The halibut had one of the most amazing, indescribable flavours I have ever tasted in my life.
  
  10:00 PM: Some more Ezekiel toast with butter and peanut butter and 2 Wendy’s burger patties, Jared brought home for me.

Breakfast

• Mood:  I had therapy this morning and was mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted afterwards. Today could have been a write-off at first, because of this. All I wanted to do was lie in bed all day. However, Jared suggested a bike ride to find salmon roe and a soccer ball so we did that instead. After a little time out in the fresh air, biking hard, I felt a little clearer-headed. Despite traffic exacerbating my anxiety at the end, I was glad we went.

• Energy levels / physical feelings: We went easier on the burpees today – 10 x 10 at 60 seconds per set. (I did 11 on a few and 14 on the last set). It was still difficult. Then we went for a bike ride – about 20 kms round trip. I felt like my legs were very slow and noticeably more inflamed, which I attributed to carbs.
  
  I’ve also noticed more bloating since introducing carbs and I do think that the Ezekiel bread might be mostly responsible, despite it being sprouted.
  
  After eating the smoked fish and Polish pickle today, I got a headache. I used to regularly get migraines from eating smoked salmon but thought it was due to then nitrates. I couldn’t tell if it was the pickle or the fish that did it but learned that (since there were likely no nitrates in the process of smoking this fish) it may have been a histamine reaction.

• Poop?: 1 small turd at around noon. Another medium one a right before burpees.

• Unusual events of the day: I had my psychologist appointment this morning and was feeling exhausted (physically and emotionally) afterwards. I thought about just going to bed and writing the rest of the day off but Jared suggested a bike ride to find some salmon roe and a soccer ball so we did that instead. Traffic on the way back made my anxiety spike but I was glad we’d gone out, nonetheless.
  
  We biked to a wonderful Russian store today, where we bought a bunch of salmon roe and incredible cold-smoked fish at an excellent price.

Amazing Russian store haul

Day 47 – Brownie Energy Bites

Meat for the Mind? – Experimenting with the Carnivore Diet for Mental Health

Monday, October 7th, 2019

*** If you would like to read about my rationale for starting this diet, my first post about this is available here.

• Sleep: About 7 hours. Not very restful but didn’t feel I needed it.

• Food consumed:  12:30 PM: Coffee with butter.
  
  1:30 PM: 1/2 lb of ground beef and two over-easy eggs.
  
  2:00 PM: I made some brownie-style energy bites with 1 mashed sweet potato, 1/4 cup of cocoa, 1/2 cup of peanut butter, 1 egg and just under a 1/4 cup of maple syrup. Cooked for 13 minutes at 350°F . (Unfortunately this recipe is very high in oxalates.) They were quite good. I had one before my afternoon appointment.
  
  7:00 PM: T-Bone steak and a side of rice cooked in bone broth. More brownie energy squares and a couple of bowls of watermelon.

Breakfast

“Brownie” batter pre-oven

Post-oven

Energy brownies!

• Mood:  Decent in the morning but bad anxiety and depression in the afternoon. (Anxiety partially related to having to go to the dentist, for a few reasons. Last time I had local anesthetic, I had Lyme disease and ended up having a severe stutter, and sporadic body convulsions for the next 2 weeks.)
  
  I wonder if yesterday’s popcorn contributed to my general feelings of malaise today.

• Energy levels / physical feelings: Not much of note.

• Poop?: One small turd in the morning and another medium one in the early afternoon.

• Unusual events of the day: Got three fillings at the dentist’s. Kim and Joel came over for dinner in the evening and we played a board game. I was happy to hear they enjoyed the brownie bites.

Day 46 – Movie Popcorn

Meat for the Mind? – Experimenting with the Carnivore Diet for Mental Health

Sunday, October 6th, 2019

*** If you would like to read about my rationale for starting this diet, my first post about this is available here.

• Sleep: Went to sleep very late – around 3:45 AM as I was fiddling around on my phone and wanted to make sure our friend got home safe. Difficulty getting up in the morning – desire to sleep all day – but dragged myself out of bed a bit after noon.

• Food consumed:  Strong craving for more raw, fresh fish today. I wish wild salmon weren’t so expensive. The sushi was fantastic yesterday.
  
  1:00 PM : Coffee with collagen, theanine, butter and a splash of vanilla.
  
  4:30 PM: A big plate of spaghetti squash with meat sauce.
  
  7:30 PM: A medium bag of movie popcorn with real butter. (I was very excited for this.)

• Mood:  Ok. Anxiety off and on. Was very affected by the movie we went to see in the theatre with Jared’s dad: Joker, with Joaquin Phoenix. It was brilliantly acted, with an excellent script, great cinematography and editing, an excellent score… To our relief, there were no superheros involved.
  
  It was such a timely story and and many eerily relatable elements (not just relatable to me but to other people I know as well). It spoke of a world of class division and a lack of social services leading to chaos. It really demonstrated the importance of accessibility to quality social services. Despite his horrific acts, you really felt for the Joker – they did a great job of showing the sequence of events that led to his behaviours. I empathized a lot with all the characters and was a blubbering mess by the end of it. I had to pull myself together though because Jared’s dad was with us.
  
  On the walk home, there was a young man skipping around in the middle of a busy road just ahead of us, with a long red scarf wrapped around his face. He appeared to have just come out of the same movie and was adopting a lot of similar mannerisms to the Joker, splashing around in puddles and doing little dances, talking to himself. A couple of cars drove by with the drivers yelling at him. He went up to a closed business and whispered into the corner of the wall. I wondered if he had empathized so much with the Joker that, in his psychotic state, he believed he was him.

• Energy levels / physical feelings: 10 x 10 burpees at 52 seconds per set. It was very difficult today. I had more numbness and circulation issues in my toes.
  
  A tiny bit of bloating and stiffness in my back after the movie popcorn. Otherwise, my energy wasn’t too bad.

Numb white and blue toes. A bit hard to tell in this picture.

• Poop?: 1 small turd at the beginning of the day.

• Unusual events of the day:  I thought I should share this one-take marvel of a music video as it is such a great source of enjoyment for me and I have watched it so many times now: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4MHRh0vJpEs
  Todrick Hall is a great pick-me-up. I’ve followed him since the beginning of his career and it’s wonderful to see him achieve such success through all his hard work.

Day 45 – Lamb Ribs and Sushi

Meat for the Mind? – Experimenting with the Carnivore Diet for Mental Health

Saturday, October 5th, 2019

*** If you would like to read about my rationale for starting this diet, my first post about this is available here.

• Sleep: About 8 hours, a little interrupted. Anxious dreams.

• Food consumed:  1:00 PM: Coffee with theanine powder and butter.
  
  2:35 PM: 1/2 lb ground beef, scrambled with 3 eggs and a bit of hot sauce, followed by a rack of lamb ribs Jared made with some herbs we’d dehydrated from our friend Jess’ garden.
  
  10:00 PM: An acquaintance of Jared’s came over and was talking about sushi so we ordered 48 pieces of just raw fish to split between the two of us. I also had a bowl of miso soup and a couple bites of seaweed salad, with a glass of dry red wine. Later, some Ungava gin and soda.
  
  1:15 AM (Sunday) I was craving toast like crazy and hadn’t eaten all my calories yet so I had 4 pieces of buttered Ezekiel toast – 3 with peanut butter and one with honey.

Breakfast

Lunch

• Mood:  Fairly good most of the day, if a little frantic and self-deprecating. Frustrated at a drawing not turning out the way I wanted to. Anxiety in the afternoon/evening but it mostly went away while we had company. (Reread in a meteorologist’s voice…)

• Energy levels / physical feelings: My energy was mostly decent, except for the morning when I wanted to keep sleeping through the day and forced myself to get up. No work out today. My joints were a little stiff and I got a headache at night, I’m assuming from the alcohol I’d consumed. I felt guilty about it and worried I’d sabotaged my progress again. I’ve been quite relaxed about my diet the past couple of days and don’t want to fall back in to bad habits.

• Poop?: 1 medium turd at about 11:30 AM. 1 large turd at 1:30 PM.

• Unusual events of the day: We may have made a new friend today at a coffee shop. She paints Magic Cards – beautifully – and has a pet snake. I figured out a new way to draw cartoony legs.

Day 44 – Big Buffet Cheat

Meat for the Mind? – Experimenting with the Carnivore Diet for Mental Health

Friday, October 4th, 2019

*** If you would like to read about my rationale for starting this diet, my first post about this is available here.

• Sleep: About 7.5 hours. A bit restless. No memory of dreams.

• Food consumed:  12:15 PM: Coffee with theanine, cultured butter and a splash of vanilla extract.
  
  6:00 PM: A buffet. Buck-wild. Carbs galore.
  
  We went to a buffet to celebrate Jared’s granny’s birthday. I decided to try out foods other than meat (as the meat selection was rather lacking. I was curious to see how my body would react to eating as many carbs as I wanted.
  
  Jared was amazingly good and stuck to his diet, only eating slices of beef roast, a small coffee and some whipped butter. As the beef was likely not grass-fed and of poorer quality than we’ve become accustomed to, he also had a bit of horseradish. He said that none of the rest of it was tempting at all. It was just the social aspect of eating like everyone else that he was missing.
  
  I, however, decided to try a bunch of different things and was surprised to find major changes in my tastes. I didn’t bother tracking my foods since there was too much variety to list. Small quantities of each item added up to quite a volume of food – salad, beets, scalloped potatoes, a few rigatoni and tortellini noodles with pesto and meat sauce, a couple of mussels, some teriyaki pork, calamari, melon, a tiny bit of apple crisp, flan, raspberry sorbet, butterscotch ice cream, etc. I avoided the breads and cakes.
  
  Despite having given myself permission to go fairly wild on the buffet, it was the most cautious I’ve ever been at a buffet. I filled my plate about 3 or 4 times (usually it would be 5 or 6) and didn’t ever finish a full plate because of the items I didn’t like. Just about everything seemed to have sugar and wheat in it. I could feel my belly start to bloat almost immediately. The teriyaki pork was basically very thin, stringy noodles of pork, covered by double their volume of batter, in a sticky sauce. The calamari was good for the first few bites but the flour-based batter had a soggy, filler kind of texture. A meat sauce tasted like wet sawdust. To my surprise, the apple crumble tasted gross – it was weirdly gooey, far too sweet and somehow tasted a bit like chlorine. A tiny bite of ‘red velvet’ cake just tasted like baking soda and sugar and I wanted to spit it out again.
  
  I had taken a scoop full of what I thought was whipped cream from the dessert table but it definitely wasn’t cream. Probably Cool-Whip. It was inedible – literally did not taste like food. It reminded me of bathroom sealant. I picked up a pumpkin tart and scraped off the dollop of Cool-Whip. The crust didn’t taste good at all so I picked it off until I was left only with a small handful of filling. Even the filling tasted plastic and artificial so I was left with a plate of completely disintegrated tart.
  
  The items I most enjoyed were the melon (cantaloupe and honeydew), a piece of banana dipped in melted chocolate (though the chocolate was too sweet and did not solidify as I would have expected), some pieces of cucumber, and the pesto sauce on a few pasta noodles. I had tried this buffet before and, though it was never my favourite, I’d enjoyed it well enough in the past.
  
  It was definitely an interesting experiment. I’d forgotten what a bloated feeling it is to be full on carbs. After the meal, I felt like lying down on the cool sidewalk and rolling home. Jared and I stopped for an oolong milk tea on the walk home and it helped.
  
  Strangely, when I got home, although I was stuffed, I still wanted toast. I resisted.
  
  I plan to fast until 2 PM tomorrow.

• Mood:  Decent. A little obsessive in the evening as I was drawing and couldn’t seem to get the fine details right, which was frustrating.

• Energy levels / physical feelings: My energy levels were fairly good. I did 10 sets of 12 therapy-burpees on a 1 minute-timer per set and 10 minutes of timed ab exercises. They were exhausting but made me clear-headed afterwards, as they usually do. However, I felt a bit wobbly and light-headed on the eighth set of burpees and kind of stumbled. I also noticed I couldn’t feel my toes half way through the burpees. I took a picture as my toes were white and blue by the end of them.

• Poop?: Tiny turd at 11:30 AM. Very large turd at 1:00 PM. I must mention that since drastically reducing dairy, my poops have ceased to be painful.

Day 43 – Biblical Bread

Meat for the Mind? – Experimenting with the Carnivore Diet for Mental Health

Thursday, October 3rd, 2019

*** If you would like to read about my rationale for starting this diet, my first post about this is available here.

• Sleep: About 8 hours. Vivid dreams I don’t remember.

• Food consumed:  Noon: 3 mls of fermented cod liver oil. Coffee with theanine, collagen, vanilla extract and butter. 1/2 lb of ground beef fried with spices and 3 eggs, over-easy.
  
  1:00 PM: 1 sweet potato, baked in the oven, with a bit of cinnamon, nutmeg, butter and coconut oil. Not quite as delicious as yesterday’s but still very good.
  
  7:00 PM: 1/2 lb of ground beef, fried as a burger patty. The last of the olives (7 black and 4 green). 6 shrimps, fried in bacon fat.
  Then, as I have still been really been craving bread and want to know whether I react better to sprouted wheat/grains, I went out and got an Ezekiel loaf. I accidentally got the cinnamon raisin kind but did not regret it too much as it was very good. I ended up having 3 pieces with peanut butter and one piece with honey – the most carbs I have consumed (109 for the day) since my Big Cheat day.
  
  No negative effects from the toast so far. My belly was a little distended from the big meal but I did not feel bloated. I will fast until after 1 PM tomorrow.
  
  The downside it that I am most certainly out of ketosis now and that I’ve been consuming probably too many oxalates with the sweet potato and peanut butter. I would like to continue to be able to build muscle and improve my physical fitness. However, the goal of this is to find a diet that is beneficial and sustainable for me long-term. I keep having to remind myself not to freak out about macros.
  
  Oh yeah, I also had a decaf coffee with butter in the evening.

Breakfast

Sweet Potato Snack

Expensive Bible Bread – At this price, I should probably learn to make my own if I want this as a regular part of my diet.

• Mood:  Surprisingly good! Two days in a row now, without panic attacks or even crying… Not sure what is happening but I’m sure that the hormonal imbalance regulating a little bit is helping. I wonder if the tiny dose of CBD oil I take nightly is finally working (as it has been almost a month now of taking it the way I was supposed to). Or maybe it is the removal of processed foods and sugars. I also finally got my full calories in today… I’m sure it’s a combination of factors but I am curious to know what is the primary contributor.
  
  I even had some creative motivation today and do three Inktober drawings. And no agoraphobia when leaving the house to buy bread – I just went out and did it. I know that sounds stupidly easy but for me it was a big step.

• 

• 

• 

Inktober 2019 drawings. Prompts: Mindless, Bait and Freeze

• Energy levels / physical feelings: I didn’t exercise today but was still able to function. More energy than usual.

• Poop?: Tiny turd at 10:30 AM.

Day 42 – Sweet Potato!

Meat for the Mind? – Experimenting with the Carnivore Diet for Mental Health

Wednesday, October 2nd, 2019

*** If you would like to read about my rationale for starting this diet, my first post about this is available here.

• Sleep: About 7 and a half hours. Vivid anxious dreams. Hard time getting out of bed.

• Food consumed:  11:00 AM: Coffee with theanine and a little butter.
  
  2:40 PM: A peach and 2 tbsp of peanut butter.
  
  6:30 PM: About 8 oz of rib steak and two over-easy fried eggs.
  For dessert, a sweet potato, baked in the oven, then cooked a bit more on the stove with butter, coconut oil and a bit of nutmeg and cinnamon. It was glorious and tasted like pumpkin pie.

Supper

Beautiful sweet potato

• Mood:  Better than usual. In the evening, Jared and I were listening to Heilung, while he ate his steak and I ate my amazing sweet potato. The music was wonderful and I was surprised to find that I felt somewhat good all of a sudden. I realized that I haven’t been putting on my own music lately, because it just feels like another task with no purpose. In that moment, I remembered how enjoyable music could be.

• Energy levels / physical feelings: Decent energy. We did 10 by 10 sets of burpees on a 53 second timer (with a couple extras thrown in at the beginning and end). My shoulder was a little stiff but other than that, they were difficult as usual but fine.

• Poop?: One at 1:00 AM and another at 11:00 AM

• Unusual events of the day: Jared and I spent some time drawing together. He drew a colourful fish as a card for his granny and I drew a terrible picture of him. It was nice to draw together.
  
  I was offered a role in a play last night. I am happy about it albeit a little hesitant since I am still not very stable. However, theatre has helped me through a lot of difficulties in the past because I love it so much. But every play is a big commitment of time and energy. The last play I did was Othello, where I played Emilia, dealing with domestic abuse on and off the stage. I have been taking a break for over a year and a half, while recovering from everything that had happened in my life during that time.
  
  For the past little while, trying to sort myself out, I keep thinking I should get back into theatre to cheer myself up. However, you really have to love it to do a good job and I have felt no positive feelings towards any type of activity. To feel nothing about theatre has felt a bit soul crushing. But there was a glimmer of eagerness when I found out I’d gotten the role. From what I’ve read so far, I really like the writing of this play. Maybe I can drag myself out of this hole yet! Maybe this will help provide me with more of an internal sense of purpose.

OH! Also, a bunch of articles came out yesterday, calling into question the rationale behind the many large health organizations (WHO, NHS, etc) telling the population to cut out red meat:
– https://annals.org/aim/fullarticle/2752328/unprocessed-red-meat-processed-meat-consumption-dietary-guideline-recommendations-from

– https://www.cbc.ca/news/health/red-meat-diet-controversy-1.5304005

– https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/health/2019/10/02/red-meat-study-known-health-risks-unfounded-doctors-decry-guidelines/3838947002/

I find it funny that this is all coming back around again, and causing such a stir, even though the same studies this new evidence is refuting were debunked in Nourishing Traditions in 1995.

Day 41 – Psychosomatic Teeth

Meat for the Mind? – Experimenting with the Carnivore Diet for Mental Health

Tuesday, October 1st, 2019

*** If you would like to read about my rationale for starting this diet, my first post about this is available here.

• Sleep: About 5 hours. Difficulty getting to sleep as overly aware of having to be up early. Dreams of a strange washroom where the stalls all connected with each other, without dividers and went around and around and entire women’s and men’s change-room. Lots of people were walking through, in full fall attire, confused and trying to get out. No privacy.

• Food consumed:  7:30 AM: Coffee with buffalo butter and theanine (we are out of collagen today)
  
  1:30 PM: Riceless jambalaya with bacon, 1/2 lb ground beef, eggs and 6 good-sized scallops. A glass of sparkling water with apple cider vinegar. 3mls of fermented cod liver oil.
  
  4:00 PM: A small bit of keto pumpkin loaf.
  
  9:30 PM: About an ounce of Jared’s steak and a cup of bone broth with some salt, tallow and collagen mixed in.
  
  By evening, I was experiencing a lot of brain fog and weakness in my body. I realized that I’ve been inadvertently limiting my calorie intake since I don’t want to eat meat. I’ll feel like eating other things but stop myself from doing so because I think I should be eating meat instead. However, this has been causing a caloric deficit again over the past few days and zapping my energy and mental clarity. After talking it over with Jared, I currently don’t think the Carnivore diet is particularly sustainable for me (though I may go back to it at some point). Intermittent fasting, however, may be more sustainable for my tastes and produce similar effects, without making me obsess over food so much. I decided to have more calories eating half a container of olives and the rest of the keto loaf, lightly toasted with butter and honey. I will try to do an intermittent fast until about 2:00 PM tomorrow.

Brunch

• Mood:  A fair bit of brain fog but pretty good over all. Getting myself out to appointments caused some anxiety but therapy did make me feel a lot better overall today, as did an evening drop-by visit from a friend. The friend introduced me to this website, which for some reason, had me in stitches: https://ingesanagram.appspot.com/ . It is an anagram generator. Type in any word combo and it rearranges the letters to create anagrams for you. The absurdity of some of the results cracked me up for a good while.

• Energy levels / physical feelings: Low energy, brain fog and a bit of short term memory issues. Didn’t do burpees today, due to appointments. (Excuses.)

• Poop?: Nope.

• Unusual events of the day: Had a therapy session this morning. I have run out of coverage but think it’s important to continue. I asked the insurance company about reallocating funds from different categories and they responded that they are looking into what other options may be available.
  
  I also went to the dentist today and although they commended my care for my teeth, it appears I have been brushing far too vigorously. They also repeatedly asked me whether I grind my teeth – to which I responded, “not that I know of”. They guessed that I must be clenching my teeth a lot, in that case, and kept asking if I had pain in my jaw and temples in the mornings. I hadn’t noticed anything like that… They felt around my jaw and face, asking whether I had any pain wherever they were prodding. “Nope.” Not sure how these relate but the results of their observations were that I have periodontal issues and will require skin graft surgery or multiple fillings. I also have a cavity so they scheduled another appointment to fill that one next week.
  
  One of my front teeth had re-chipped a little right before I started the Carnivore diet. I asked to have the jagged bit scaled down as it has been bothering me a lot since it happened (the unevenness and fear that it will catch on something, causing further damage). The hygienist seemed surprised that I was eager to have it done as soon as possible.
  
  I realized that a lot of these dental issues seem to stem from stress. It’s a bit wild to hear the physical effects that mental stress can have even on your teeth… If you don’t take care of your mind, your body collapses, and vice versa. I remember a hair dresser randomly asking me once, while combing my hair, if I had been through any kind of major stress 6 months ago. I was a bit surprised at the question but when I thought back, I had been through a notable period of duress almost exactly six months prior. When I asked her what had prompted her to ask, she told me she could tell by my hair – the texture/way it had grown and that there had been a fair bit of hair loss at around the 6 month growth mark, which had since started to grow back. So interesting. It reminds me that I have yet to finish the book by Gabor Maté, When the Body Says No.
  
  On an unrelated note, I found this TED Talk today and feel I need to look into it some more: https://youtu.be/e5LYGzKUPlE
  Then, when specifically looking up “ideal macro ratios for women”, I got this: http://www.crossfitsanitas.com/best-macronutrient-ratio/ and then this: https://rippedbody.com/best-macro-ratio/. I am so confused…
  
  The truth seems to be that nobody really knows what the ideal macro nutrient ratio is at all (especially for women) – it’s all just speculation. And just like nutritional values of food groups, it’s heavily debated with popular opinion constantly changing. We can mostly guess at ratios that will put us in ketosis and out of ketosis and beyond that, it’s a bit of a crapshoot. What is the optimal amount of carbs to consume, based on activity, physical size and level of fitness? Who knows!? Is there an optimal or a detrimental period of time to stay in ketosis to encourage positive results and avoid health issues? No idea!
  
  It really made me wonder why even bother with tracking at all. However, I realize that tracking is the only way I can notice optimal ratio patterns in myself to promote my own ideal results.